There seems to be a general consensus among women that your thirties are when you really start on the journey of self discovery, self love/acceptance and learning to care less of what others think. I definitively concur with this sentiment, and often find myself (internally) laughing at the little signs of this maturity showing up in my life.
I think most of us millennials remember the first Christmas we received pots and pans or a vacuum cleaner or maybe even a check that we put into some kind of investment portfolio, and upon gratefully receiving said gift saying something like "ya, I really enjoy receiving cleaning supplies these days; I'm officially 'old' now". There was always this weird mixture of feelings around these types of mundane gifts for me; pride for embracing the more practical side of growing up that would save me money/time/ etc, humor in that I was "wasting a gift" on something boring and not "sexy", and this small sense of grief for the days when my biggest fear was NOT receiving the doll I wanted, the Abercrombie shirt that all of my friends had, the newest CD or any other superficial gift that signified the more care-free times in my life. Can you relate?
To further illustrate this point, I am literally writing this blog while on vacation with friends in Utah, and while the men are enjoying snowy hot tub time, and the girls are getting ready for the day, I found myself being drawn to reading an article on lipid nonaparticles in the COVID vaccine while simultaneously googling word origins and definitions. It doesn't get any nerdier than that, and I found myself suddenly laughing out loud at how I was choosing to spend my alone time.
In all seriousness though, I have been experiencing a huge pull in my life within the last year; a pull towards really examining Christianity to heal some wounds I have around church and the bible; A pull with becoming very well-researched in vaccination history, research, data and these products ties to money trails; A pull to explore newer types of energy medicine practices that could help mothers and children beyond talk therapy, pharmaceutical interventions and simply playing the guessing game around behaviors, developmental milestones and general anxieties of motherhood. All the while I'm also realizing I'm at a point in my life where I love deep, thoughtful conversations that are not only intellectually stimulating, but push me towards wanting to do and BE better, to act on what I've learned and to help support our human experiences in a way that is simple, yet impactful. Woah, deep. I swear I am not going through a quarter life crisis. Ha!
Don't get me wrong, I still love being goofy, I love silly conversations and laughing with my little family and friends, talking with other moms about challenges and experiences with our little ones, using TIkTok to finally learn how to care for my naturally curly hair, trying out clean beauty products, and other more superficial and fun parts of life. However, there is a level of depth blossoming from deep within me that, while daunting at times, feels so divinely aligned to explore and celebrate!
So thank you 30's because so far 'you' have propelled me into this state of being, observing and doing that just feels good. It feels purposeful. It feels intentional. And requires me to really be present (though that's not to say I don't sometime dwell on the past or worry about the future). All in all, I am genuinely enjoying this stage of life.
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